Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
