Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
