Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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