Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it glows. i had to have it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
