Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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