some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
