just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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