can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
