i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
