HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
