i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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