i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
