MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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