i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
