Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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