Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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