then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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