i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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