I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
