Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
