when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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