i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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