I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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