how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
