her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
