I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
