At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
