what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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