I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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