Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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