When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
