once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
