I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
