I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
