You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
