that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
