hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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