Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
