She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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