Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
