I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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