I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
