I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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