sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
