I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
