Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
