If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
