the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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