So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
