Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
