dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
pray to the hookup gods
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
