Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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